On April the 6th I was out for the first time in a while and it was truely energizing. I attended the sandcastle contest at the beach and arrived 3 hours early to enjoy the observations before the chaos of the contest.

It was peaceful at first.

People were quiet, watching the rough seas.


Gulls were everywhere but they weren't bothering anyone, just soaring above. The wind was so strong that day that they didn't even have to work very hard to stay up in the air. They just glided where the wind took them.


There were tons of surfers out because the waves were pretty high for here.


Its weird how things can be so peaceful and joyful and then one foot away hell exists. By the main entrance to the beach there were bums everywhere of all ages and types. There were beach bums, hippies, actually hobos, gangsters, bag ladies, and vets. The beach bums were strung out on the benches with frizzy hair looking like they had not slept in days with their bikes parked next to them. The hippies were loud and obnoxious staring at all the passer-byers as if everyone was out to get them. They danced in the side walk carelessly bumping into people, probably stoned out of their minds. The hobos were quiet not beggin for money, just sitting and staring. Them and the bag ladies were the most sad to me. They just sat and watched as all the happy families crossed the boardwalk to the beach. They never said a word and never really showed any emotion, but you could see in thier eyes the unfortuante circumstances and illness that led them to the bench by the boardwalk where they sat. The gangsters were loud and terrifying lookin at every passer-byer like they were a threat that needed to be treated with violence. When someone they knew walked up they obnoxiously yelled violent words like "Enriquo you fucking crazy ass bitch, I'll fuckin shoot your mother fucking brains out, mother fucker, actin' all fuckin (inserst inaudible spanish word here) last night with your nasty ass ho', fucking suck my dick bitch". Each of the groups of people just sat in front of the boardwalk doing what they do. None of them crossed the boardwalk, as if they imagined on the other side they would be asked if they were a well to do white family and if not, they would be immedialty killed. There was some invisible wall that kept them on the "other side". The only thing in between were the nam vets in the bushes searching for viet kong soldiers. I was really to frightened to take pictures, afraid of a violent protest, a gang fight, a pshycotic breakdown or whatever, I passed by as quickly as everyone else did, trying to pretend like they werent present and I wasnt scared of them. Pretty fuckin sad huh?

But hey on the other side of the beach there were smiles and laughter!!!! Life gaurds were in training and it was a real life episode of Baywatch right in front of my eyes!!!






Then the Hari Krishnas came!!!!!! Oh it was awesome. It was great to hear the 16 minute long Hari Krishna song I constantly have stuck in my head broadcasted all over the beach. I'm not an Hari Krishna, but singing the name really does bring joy, and on my new age radio station I play at work they play the song about ever 3 hours and I smile each time. I love Hari Krishnas!



Well I guess the purpose of my visit was to watch the sandcastle, but then again that was the purpose of everyone's visit to the beach and I just refuse to be normal, but for the sake of it all here are the observations.

When the obnoxious horn blew (right as the Hari Krishnas were parading by mind you), everyone began to dig


Then they used water


Then they molded


Then shapes began to form


Then crowds of people started forming and I left.


I like watcing people....from a distance, and when I can't do that I realize all the strange stares and they start to effect me and I start to go away. And if Im gone then there really is no reason to stay because Jenny hates the beach.

But I left with the thought that although there are those seperate sides of the beach, the "other side" is better off. At least they know who they are. At least they aren't pretending. The hippies, gangstas, hobos ect... they know that they exist in society as that person at that moment and their lives are enriched by the fact. Thier loud obnoxious nature is thier booming confidence of thier idenity. Whereas on the other side of the beach most of the people are fake. They are pretending, for at least one day that thier happy white family is actually a happy family at all. When in reality it probably exist that the father is a coldhearted asshole, the mother is overworked and tired and the children are depressed and confused about the nature of life.

I guess Im somewhere in the middle. I dont pretend about who I am, yet I only come out when I am needed. And when I get scared I run away and let someone else take over. I should be proud of that ability. Maybe one day. Were working on it.

But enough of that, I'll leave you with cute baby butt

I've been on sabbatical. I'm back though and its my goal to post every day. I observe every day; I think every do, so I should post every day. I'll use the next few days to catch up

April 30th, 2006
The Opening of the Beaches Parade:

Apparenty the beaches never close, but they still celebrate when they open......or never open for that matter. 

This parade was truely American


And by that I mean a bunch of people standing around watching loud cars and smiling people go by while they stand behind a plastic fence holding a small replica of the American flag. As if to say "We are America, we are fenced in from happiness, and we wave our flags proudly in that honor"

This was the guy handing out the flags by the way

He was just happy he was on the other side of the fence.

The crowd of people viewing the parade was the most interesting aspect of the observation for me. 

Some people were in love

Some people were angry that I was taking pictures of them



Yes this kid is hialing Hitler.

Then some people were wacky (note: the people featured below were not part of the parade)




As for the parade itself, well every good American loves fire trucks


Oh and Brad Pitt look-a-likes too!


Overall it was a good day. People were smiling because thats what you do at a parade. The sun was shining and overheating is positive for the average American. The wind was blowing and laughter filled the air as nature swept away materialistic items from the hands of strangers. Its was an American experiance, and those are always fun for me - in a different way of course.

March 2nd, 2006

Yesterday I walked around Spanish Pond. It was a beautiful day, not unlike today. There were no clouds in the sky and I saw birds everywhere. 


The Spanish moss made my eyes water, but the sun reflected so beautifully on its fibers




The pond was covered with the dead of winter


But the path was bright with greenery


I saw leaves of red, a rare site here where things are either green or dead


Walking with nature and hearing its peaceful sounds was delightful, but unfortuantley it always must end. I entered back into the world and saw the destructive nature of man. Not only does man destroy the nature around it


But it destroys itself too


He took off his helmet to smoke a cigarette.

Life is considered worthless for so many. A man made fire can break the hearts of many, but too see someone smoke doesnt even effect most people. Why are we so ready to look down upon destroying others, but not on destroying ourselves?

I bought a new camera, so my interests have been directed towards that. However, updates from the past week follow below.


February 21st, 2006

Today I played pool




I saw the breasts of a fire hydrant


I was warned of gators



And I saw something on a tree I thought was beautiful


February 24th, 2006
Today I saw things in a new way.

I saw a bridge from an angle I never had before


I saw buildings downtown in a new light, a beautiful light, a light I had never seen before




Finally I saw a weed on the side of the road that looked like a beautiful flower


February 26th, 2006
I went to some parks today to find the beauty there. There is a national park right down the street from where I live that I had never been to before.

I saw the Ribault Column, an item in history I had studied many times, but never had the chance to see up close.


I saw nature




And I saw nature's destroyer


I saw a piece of history, replicated




I felt the wind in my hair, smelled the salt water, and took in a deep breath 


I saw the Princess Highway cross the water, bigger than the mansions it passed by, wondering what it carried


Nature is energizing, I should walk more with nature daily.

February 27th, 2006
I ran errands today, but along the way saw some people and wondered if they were doing the same. I also wondered if they knew I was taking a picture of them, and if so, what they thought about my voyerism.




I hung out with the best friend a person could ask for. Others may come and go, but he is all I need.


I found out there is more than one American flag.


I realized how much construction goes on around me, almost obliviously because it is so common.




I ended my day by playing pool. It is rewarding, relaxing, and is beginning to feel like a nice hobby.

February 17th 2006 - Today was beautiful in many ways

I consumed coffee at Starbucks with a good friend.

Starbucks often feels empty


A cup of coffee is such a familiar object. We never glance at it twice or examine it for more than a split second. People spent hours designing the cups for our coffee and we never look and appreciate it. Not as if we should, but its interesting to wonder how much time and energy and money for that matter, is spent on something so worthless.


I ate at Panera with another friend. The color scheme was very close to the color scheme in the doctor's waiting room yesterday. What are they trying to say with thier colors? Why are the doctors and Panera trying to convey the same message?


We travelled around for a few hours, walking through consumer's heaven, but we call it hell. The only artistic store on my side of town boast not only "Gay Spray" and "Why get married, I haven't done anything wrong" magnets, but also is a host of these items as well:




I wonder to myself why such an artistic store would sell such superficial items, and then I realize that beauty and art are related. To some art is the uncovering of what is beautiful but not seen, to others it is simple superficial beauty. I'm guessing the owners of this store think "Gay Spray" is "sooo cute".

Have you ever seen a man look like this? I haven't. then I realized that this display was a life size Ken doll and men aren't given enough credit for thier hard work against beauty stereotypes. We always hear about the media telling women what is beautiful, but this plastic model tells men how they should be beautiful.


Little girls are told how to be beautiful. Look at this little girl in this ad, and look where she is looking. What do you see?


I never knew we could be catagorized so well, but the Target's little girl section has done it for us. In fact, if you go to Target right now, you can press a button and it will tell you which catagory - or ill call it stereotype, you fit into the best. I'm thoughtful, but we knew that. My friend is a Diva. What are you - a planner, original, all style, or glam?


I also saw two types of birds today. The first set of birds are organized, poetic, and dutiful, the second set is naughty - or am I naughty for setting them up that way?




This is what they tell me beauty is. WHITE, TALL, POWERFUL AND SKINNY


I still think the most beautiful thing of all is the nighttime